In with the new, out with the old........

I have enjoyed the beginning of the new year and the start of a new decade. When I think of the new decade in particular, I find myself envisioning a blank slate where all my dreams can be written if I believe and take the actions necessary to achieve them.
Things have continued to go well for me since my last update. The spring semester (Semester 5 of 9) started this past week and I am already pumped regarding the courses' content. I am taking an upper level child policy class as well as a CBT advanced direct practice class. I am very much looking forward to the CBT class because I think the techniques in that therapeutic approach are very effective. Also, changing my negative core beliefs is something that I have needed to do for a long time.
I wanted to update on my last post regarding the guy I had recently began to talk to. Not long into our conversations, I started to notice that I was having a bad feeling; my intuition seemed to be warning me and I started to get anxiety when I thought of or communicated with him. After centering myself, I decided to realistically examine the situation. Honestly there were red flags all over the situation so when I did not receive any further messages from him after last Saturday night, I deleted him from my phone and clearly did not communicate with him further. I am very grateful that this opportunity presented itself though because I have learned two things: 1. I have made drastic and positive changes in the interactions that I have with men and 2. I am not even close to being ready to start dating again! So now I am back to the peace and serenity of my single life which I couldn't be more thankful for! 😊

New Year's Reflections

Day #786 of sobriety and Day #1 of 2020! I figured that today would be the perfect day for a blog post.

Here's an update on me since my last post: I successfully completed the fall semester and my foundation placement. Currently I am maintaining a 4.0 GPA in the MSW program. I have continued to maintain my commitment to myself to not engage in acting out behaviors and to that end, I have not kissed, touched, or had sex with a man since 2017. It has been nice to actually get to know myself and work on loving me. My life is calm, peaceful, and serene and I am content with my life in a way that I have never been before. 

With that being said, I have started talking to a guy fairly recently that I am interested in. I met him online unexpectedly and we have been communicating frequently. He lives in my area and we have discussed getting together for coffee. I am both surprised and puzzled by this turn of events. While it's very obvious to me in my interactions with him that I have made a great deal of progress since 2017, I have also had a new realization: I do not have the foggiest clue of what constitutes the beginning of a healthy relationship. I have caught myself on multiple occasions overthinking things because this is all new to me! I have no idea if these conversations will lead anywhere and if they do, what that will consist of. However I have made substantial progress in managing anxiety (thank you, anxious attachment style) and having respect and integrity in my interactions with him so for that, I am pretty proud of myself. I plan to maintain my boundaries and accept things as they are and for what they are, no matter what that entails. Even if these conversations don't lead to anything meaningful, I can always gain some valuable knowledge to add to my relationship toolbox. I will be posting relevant updates, stay tuned!!! Happy New Year! ❤