Here's an update on me since my last post: I successfully completed the fall semester and my foundation placement. Currently I am maintaining a 4.0 GPA in the MSW program. I have continued to maintain my commitment to myself to not engage in acting out behaviors and to that end, I have not kissed, touched, or had sex with a man since 2017. It has been nice to actually get to know myself and work on loving me. My life is calm, peaceful, and serene and I am content with my life in a way that I have never been before.
With that being said, I have started talking to a guy fairly recently that I am interested in. I met him online unexpectedly and we have been communicating frequently. He lives in my area and we have discussed getting together for coffee. I am both surprised and puzzled by this turn of events. While it's very obvious to me in my interactions with him that I have made a great deal of progress since 2017, I have also had a new realization: I do not have the foggiest clue of what constitutes the beginning of a healthy relationship. I have caught myself on multiple occasions overthinking things because this is all new to me! I have no idea if these conversations will lead anywhere and if they do, what that will consist of. However I have made substantial progress in managing anxiety (thank you, anxious attachment style) and having respect and integrity in my interactions with him so for that, I am pretty proud of myself. I plan to maintain my boundaries and accept things as they are and for what they are, no matter what that entails. Even if these conversations don't lead to anything meaningful, I can always gain some valuable knowledge to add to my relationship toolbox. I will be posting relevant updates, stay tuned!!! Happy New Year! ❤
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