Hard truth

Not a miracle but rather a nightmare 😕

For as much hope and promise I thought that relationship had, it's over. He dumped me almost 3 days ago for reasons he cobbled together to obviously get rid of me. Not only did he refuse to discuss the issue at hand, he abruptly shut me down and out when I showed distress regarding his decision. Everyone always says that everything happens for a reason. My issue is that reason always seems to cause me pain. Why must my only choice be feeling pain or being alone?

The miracle has happened!

Well, I am thrilled to finally report that all of the waiting and heartache has been worth it. I finally found someone who is genuinely interested in me and not using me for sex or whatever else he can get! We have been dating for about a month and his name is Jason. He fits most of the criteria I have been looking for and he is so sweet and attentive to me. Perhaps the most shocking part of all is that there have not been any 'I love yous' exchanged because I want to do things differently this time. I don't want to rush or create false intimacy; I want this one to last! I will update soon! 🥰😍❤️

Snapchat

July 10th

Well, I finally did it. I had sex. To say it was a huge disappointment would be a big understatement. While the sex was decent, it didn't last very long and it happened in an SUV. In a parking lot. The most hurtful part of it though was that a few days afterward, the guy ghosted me. Later that week, I found out he had sex with my friend a few years ago. 

The part that makes me angry is that I made sure to establish BEFORE sex that this person was looking for a relationship and not just sex. I guess the joke is on me. 🙄 I feel so foolish and naive. 😢

Ghosted

I met who I thought was a great guy last week, someone I shared so much in common with. He was very sweet and attentive; so much so that it felt like all of my dreams had come true. Yesterday I was ghosted. No explanation, no closure. What makes this situation worse is the high sexual attraction between us. Although I did not have intercourse with him, we engaged in a pretty heavy makeout session.

I am beyond done and not okay. 😭💔