I wanted to post some insight that I had earlier today that I am pretty excited about! It was quite the epiphany even though to some, it might be common sense. Throughout my entire life, I have objectified men. I didn't realize it until I entered recovery but it became obvious as my active addiction progressed based on how I would turn myself inside out for guys I didn't even particularly like. All I knew is that I found many of them incredibly physically attractive and because they were hyper-masculine, I felt as if I was desperate for their "love" and approval. (which came from daddy issues, YAY!) I have noticed how I tend to put a guy on a pedestal if I find him attractive; this effect becomes magnified if he is funny, intelligent, etc. I have decided that going forward, it will help me immensely to remind myself that all qualities of a person make them who they are, not just one. Also I need to remember that if a person's behavior or actions could come across as toxic in any way, what they look like doesn't matter; their appearance should be a moot issue. I love deep introspection!
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