Oh, the irony.....

This morning I called into a meeting for the first time in a few weeks and a comment I heard on the line got me thinking about quite the ironic reality: it seems as if the one thing that us love and sex addicts are searching for is love. In my case, given some of the guys I dated, I had an equal chance of finding love with them as I did seeing a pig fly. But I digress....
What struck me as particularly ironic was the fact that while we tell ourselves we are searching for true love, in actuality we have no clue what love even looks or feels like. I know that I always mistook physical and sexual attraction for love. I incorrectly associated all sorts of concepts with love such as giving without question, putting one's needs last, tolerating intolerable treatment, and emotional unavailability in one's partner. Given this knowledge in addition to everything else I have learned over these many months, I realize that I  have no idea what love is. All I have ever had experience with is entanglement, enmeshment, and sexual attraction. I will do everything I can to change these unhealthy patterns.