Routines

I have noticed that I have come to rely on my routines in order to provide me with both structure and peace. Even though I am insanely busy most days with work and school and sometimes I wish I had more free time, I am extremely grateful for the strict daily routine that I now have in place. If that routine is disturbed, it throws me off kilter. I find it ironic then that this was yesterday's daily meditation from Answers in the Heart:

To live and let live, without clamor for distinction or recognition; to wait on divine Love; to write truth first on the tablet of one’s own heart — this is the sanity and perfection of living, and my human ideal. — Mary Baker Eddy

So much of recovery is simply routine. We make a choice, and then we make it again. Unlike the uncontrolled life of a practicing sex addict, life now has the sanity that comes from making good choices until they become new habits. Everything in us may rebel at this. Our addiction will tell us that a sane life is boring and mundane. But it’s not: it frees us because it’s manageable. It’s the small choices that count. Maybe we change the movies we see or the music we listen to. Maybe we eat lunch at work, rather than use a stolen lunch hour to act out. Maybe we take in an extra meeting before going on a date. All we have to do is choose for these twenty-four hours, One Day at a Time. We can use the Serenity Prayer to help us. The bottom line is willingness, humility, and tenacious faith.

I will try to see day-to-day routines as giving me the sanity and stability I need to feel safe