Self-discipline

I wanted to share today's daily meditation from Answers in the Heart because it's so applicable to my life. I have always felt like I struggled with self-discipline and did not have the ability to make necessary changes. Now I know that's all BS. Because every single day, I show more self-discipline and self-restraint than I have in my entire lifetime. Also, today marks 350 days of sobriety! To say that I am proud of myself is an understatement!

OCTOBER 22 
As long as there is still so much noise inside, so long will it be hard for others to approach you, except for those who look deeper and feel the undertow, the life-current that never stops. — Etty Hillesum

There’s a difference between forcing ourselves to act and self-discipline. Self-discipline comes from within. With it we feel the push to do something worthwhile, no matter how small. Forcing ourselves to do something, on the other hand, usually reflects an authority outside ourselves. We might make a point of getting to work on time because our boss says we have to, not because we want to. Or, we might go to meetings because our sponsor says that’s good, not because it’s what we’ve chosen. Forcing ourselves may produce results, but for a sex addict, it’s not healthy. It reinforces our desire to rebel and have our own way. Letting go of our belief in willpower lessens the need to set up forces outside ourselves to resist. Somewhere inside of us, even if it’s faint, is the sense of what’s best for us, of what we truly want to do. We may fight it, but our heart knows. And that’s the right choice. To follow what’s in our heart teaches self-discipline and brings self-esteem.

Joy, pleasure, and serenity are mine each day when I stay centered and self-disciplined.