On the way home from dance class this evening, I realized something pretty extraordinary: while I am not experiencing the "thrill" of my addiction, I am also not experiencing the abject misery and constant suffering of it either. Yes, I may be alone now but at least I don't feel like my heart is breaking daily, like all of the misery will just eat me up and swallow me whole. Day by day, week by week, that constant emptiness is slowly going away, replaced by a feeling of contentment and self-discovery that would have never been possible if I was still engaged in my addiction. I am blessed to know that every painful relationship and break-up happened in order to lead me to this day and this realization: I am enough. I don't need someone else to validate me. I am a valuable person and when God decides the time is right, he will bring a man into my life that recognizes that as well. Until then, I will enjoy my own company.
No comments:
Post a Comment