Constant search for validation

The unconscious, overwhelming search for validation from others is a neverending struggle. Granted, I have gotten much better with it in the past several months. But it still is a thing.
I think most recovering love and sex addicts can relate to the following: in our constant search for validation, most of us tried our absolute best to provide everything our qualifier wanted/needed. And any criticism they leveled at us ripped our soul in 2 because damnit, WE WERE TRYING SO HARD TO BE PERFECT FOR THEM!
In my case, my most recent qualifier abruptly dumped me one Saturday afternoon about 3 months into our entanglement. As if getting dumped over the phone wasn't bad enough, he used that conversation as an opportunity to review everything in my life that he felt needed changing i.e. mitigating factors why he just couldn't be with me and/or "love me like he thought he did". One of these reasons included the fact that I did not yet have a court custody agreement with my ex in place. He said it was "weird and I needed to get my life together". It's interesting because I recently filed for custody and I must admit that the thought crossed my mind if only he could see me now. Would that allusive love that I tried to get for so long finally be mine because "I had my life together"? No, the answer is no. However, these are the types of thoughts that cross your mind when you have this disease. I shall keep on fighting!