Triggers

Early this morning, I picked a topic for my blog this evening. This was because I experienced a trigger very early this morning, during my routine Monday morning run. This trigger was the humid air and warm temperatures. I have this trigger because last summer (the last time the weather was like this) I was acting out with my most recent qualifier. I have felt uncomfortable feelings today and I am not sure why. I know I am lonely and I miss companionship, physical contact, and of course having sex.
Also, for whatever reason, I have quite a bit of self-pity going on too. Along with the man from church, I have had other men hitting on me lately and I am aggravated. I am aggravated because the guys that hit on me, I am not interested in. The ones I want (or think I want) don't want me. It makes me feel sorry for myself even more. What if it's always like this, what if I am alone forever? Why do I continue to feel this emptiness? Why do I continue to binge eat? Ugh!