Pictures

Today I was looking for a picture on my computer and I came across pictures and conversations from last year with my most recent qualifier. At any other time in the past, I would have spent alot of time romanticizing and missing the person, aching for them and all I had thought I lost.
This time was the first time in my life that I did not do that. Instead I felt gratitude that this awful person wasn't in my life anymore and that I didn't have to deal with the awful feelings that come with active addiction. Moreover, I had put this man on such a pedestal, exaggerating in my mind how "attractive" he was. When I looked at his pictures objectively, I realized that he really isn't all that attractive. He was just attractive to me at that time in my life due to this disease I have. I am so blessed to have my eyes open and be in recovery.