Avoiding Fantasy

A major component of sex and love addiction is the tendency to engage in fantasy thinking. I know this was a HUGE issue for me when I was acting out. During the course of my daily life, if I had to face an uncomfortable situation or feeling, I would just check out of reality and enter my fantasy world. My fantasy world always starred my most recent qualifier. Actually it's interesting because my most recent qualifier has been popping up a lot lately in my thoughts before bed and in my dreams. I am not sure why except for the fact that it's been 1 year since I met him. In my opinion, part of this obsession is due to my neverending search for external validation which I have been working on in the past 7 months of my recovery. Another trigger may be that I just recently discovered that another qualifier attempted to contact me out of the blue 3 years after we last spoke.
The important thing that I must remember is that all of these thoughts, dreams, or daydreams that I have been having and have had are not in any way, shape, or form based on reality. My attraction to any qualifier from my past has been based on fantasy. The reality is that at best, all of these men were emotionally unavailable. My relationships with them were not healthy; in fact they were toxic and harmful to me. I will start to pray that God will help me remember this on a daily basis.