The longer I live, the more I realize that everything in life takes time. This is especially true with meaningful changes that actually mean something and take a great deal of effort. I have been trying my best not to feel shame over my addiction nor the fact that no matter if I like it or not, I will feel discomfort and uncomfortable feelings next weekend when I am in Buffalo. I talked with a friend this past week and he told me that I was a very strong person and therefore I could just choose not to think about it. I explained to him that inner strength would help prevent me from acting out but it would not prevent me from having intrusive and obsessive thoughts. Addiction doesn't work that way, I told him, moreover he should know better. This exchange just illustrates how few people truly understand this disease. This encourages me to reach out to recovery partners and share at as many meetings as I can before I go to Buffalo on Friday. I will need the support of people who understand this struggle and God to help me make it through this trip without too many hurtful thoughts. God give me the serenity....
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