Today is day #70 of NC/sobriety. While I should be very happy with my progress, I have been utterly miserable for the past 2 days. I have been experiencing a great deal of emotional pain. It's been very challenging to maintain my sobriety this weekend. I feel equal parts hopeless, impatient, restless, sad, miserable, and empty. I just keep thinking that I need to hear from my qualifier. Like I have a gnawing need to hear from him, see him, touch him, etc. But it's hard to face the fact that all of these thoughts are not reality and WILL NOT make me feel better in any way. This gnawing need represents the need I have to connect with and trust in God. My qualifier cannot and will not save me. I need to develop a relationship with God and put my trust and faith in that relationship. One day at a time, God help me.
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